Performance Anxiety

Pentecost 8, August 7, 2011

Genesis 37:1-4, 12-28~~Psalm 105:1-6, 16-22 from BCP~~Romans 10:5-15~~Matthew 14:22-33

Book of Common Prayer, 1928 service

Have you ever experienced performance anxiety?  Even soloists who always appear calm and collected admit to being nervous at times.  I’ve been around performers of music all my life, having been born into a very musically oriented family.  I know about performance anxiety.  We worry about our voice giving out, not getting enough breath to carry over a phrase, messing up the words, FORGETTING the words….just any number of things!  Why do we put ourselves through such anguish?  Psychologists tell us that the worst nightmare for many persons is the fear of performing music in public.  They also tell us what is the ultimate goal of these same people—it is to perform music in public!  It is a strange paradoxical force that drives us to embark on that first performance.  It fulfills deeply, but what separates success from failure is only a thin layer of confidence.  It can feel much like walking on water.

This Sunday it is Peter who is going “solo”.  The scene is familiar—Jesus’ disciples are in a boat when a storm hits.  Seeing someone walking toward them on the water, their fear is magnified.  “It is a ghost!” they cry out in fear.  But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I do not be afraid.”  What a comforting response from their master.  But Peter needs more assurance that this is really Jesus and suggests, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”  Jesus’ response is brief.  “Come,” He says.

We wonder what was going through Peter’s mind as he took those first tentative steps?  He was probably bouncing around between confidence and doubt, much like we would do.  I’m recalling when we first started Grace Anglican Church needing to add music to our services.  Who was going to do this?  HOW IN THE WORLD would we accomplish this important aspect of an Anglican service without someone who really knew how to direct us.  I took it on with the encouragement and assistance of several friends, but my own mental conversation went something like this:  “Who do I think I am that I can do this?  Well, maybe I can do it.  No, I have no idea what to do.  But, if we can pull this off, it would make our services so lovely.  I know I can count on Jesus to help us, but I’m just not sure of myself…..”  And all of those thoughts went on in my mind before we even considered chanting the Psalms!!

We know how the story in the gospel turned out.  Peter did get wet, but let’s not forget those first few steps he took before his focus shifted from Jesus to his own fear.  Jesus called his faith “little,’ but by doing so He did acknowledge its presence.  And by testing it He gave Peter a valuable lesson.  Yes, even a little faith can work wonders, and it can be the ripple that grows into a wave.  But, ultimately, we must take no pride in the magnitude of our faith, for it is not of our own creation.  It is a gift from the Master who calms the storms, holds out a gracious hand, and bids us come. 

We open our service this Sunday with O Worship the King, All Glorious Above, a hymn of such stature in the minds of most congregations as to be thought of as a “classic.” The words were written by Sir Robert Grant and the rousing tune, had long been attributed to William Croft and before that to Handel.  But now we must regretfully consign it to the “Anonymous” list.   The popularity of this tune has been phenomenal throughout its history.  Since about 1750 it has been in almost every major hymnbook I the English-speaking world.  It was the sixth most frequently printed sacred piece in American tunebooks up to the year 1810.  Second only to OLD 100^{TH ,}  it was the tune most frequently found on English organ barrels in the period of their widespread use (ca. 1790 to 1860).  We will hear at the very end of the Gospel reading that “those in the boat worshiped Him” as in the words of our hymn, we too, will “worship the King” as we process in to the sanctuary.

Out of the Depths I Call will be our sequence hymn, sung before and after the Gospel reading this Sunday.  It was chosen to echo the thoughts of Joseph in the Old Testament reading of Genesis, when he was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers.  Perhaps you can imagine being a 17 year old Joseph in those endless days away from his family, calling out to God to hear “my supplicating voice and graciously reply.”  The wonderful thing about planning for liturgical services is that everything is meant to fit.  Can you also hear a frightened Peter crying out to Jesus as he is about to sink, “Lord, save me!”  from our Gospel reading?  The tune, ST. BRIDE, was composed in 1760 for use with this text and has been included in Episcopal tunebooks sice 1851.

O God Our Help In Ages Past is our recessional hymn.  The melody of this hymn will already have been sung when we sing the antiphon to the Psalm for the day in SATB Anglican Chant.  The text by Isaac Watts is probably not only his best-known work, but one of his finest.  A masterful paraphrase of ps. 90:1-5, it can be found in practically every English-language hymnal around the world.  Its matching with this tune occurred early in the nineteenth century.  John Wesley altered the opening from “Our God, our help” to “ O God, Our help”.  Today it is considered to be one of the finest texts in the English Hymn literature and is considered the finest hymn paraphrase written by Isaac Watts.   

Our guest organist this week will be Gene Arner.  Gene and his wife, Mary, have visited at Grace Anglican Church and have great appreciation for classical music and worship services.  When I was told that Gene had been a church organist in years past, I asked him if he would consider accompanying our services on occasion.  We’ve had a great time preparing the music from the Lofty Pews for this week.  I’m sure Gene isn’t wondering (like Peter) why he thought he could do this, after so many years away from his regular organ position!  Welcome Gene.  We look forward to future times we can raise our voices in praise with your accompaniment on the organ at Grace Anglican Church.  It’s been a pleasure.

The Eucharist anthem this week is Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy’s, “How Lovely Are the Messengers”,  from his oratorio, St Paul.  The text of the work is based largely on the Acts of the Apostles and is a paraphrase of our Epistle for today, Romans 10:15.  The anthem that the singers will sing is one of the oratorio’s best-loved choruses. 

Following are a couple of links to more about this piece.  You can hear a choir in Stockholm singing it or read more about Felix Mendelssohn’s life.

http://www.choirs.org.uk/prognotes/mendelssohn%20st%20paul.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8ExwoK4j-w

Sung by choir at the Anglican Episcopal church in Stockholm on Sunday 6Th Dec 2009

Sources:

St Paul – Felix Mendelssohn, John Bawden

Tune My Heart to Sing

Deacon Ron Jutzy

The Hymnal 1982 Companion

                        Youtube